The scene: Lying on my bed, reading a book, minding my own business… when all of a sudden, there’s a cat on my chest, nosing my book out of the way, demanding my attention. Cat: Pet me. Me: I was reading that. Cat: Pet me now. Me: I was in the middle of a sentence. [...]
Archive for the ‘Conversations with a Cat’ Category
Conversations with a Rat
May 21st, 2007
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Rat: He’s looking at me again. Me: Who? Rat: The Cat. Me: It’s okay, he can’t touch you. Rat: May I eat him? Me: Uh… no. For one, he’s about 20 times your size. Rat: I can take him. Me: I’m going to stick with no. Rat: I can totally take him.
Conversations with a Cat in the Kitchen
May 21st, 2007
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Cat: Are you making dinner? Me: Yes. Cat: Give me some. Me: No. Cat: Give me some now. Me: No, it’s my dinner. Go get your own. Cat: If you do not, I will wind my way through your legs until you fall down. Then, while you lie there, I shall eat your face. Me: [...]
Conversations with another cat found where no cat should be
May 15th, 2007
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Me: Why are you in my room? Cat: She Who Feeds Me has done the unspeakable. Me: Oh? Cat: She has invited a STRANGER into MY ROOM. Me: I think you’ll find that that’s actually her room. Cat: Poppycock. All rooms are my room. Including this one. Me: Yeah, about that… Cat: There should be [...]
Conversations with a cat found where no cat should be
May 14th, 2007
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Me: Why are you in my room? Cat: I like it here. Me: You’re not welcome here. Cat: I am Cat. I am welcome everywhere. Me: You’re shedding on my bed. Cat: Cat hair is pleasant. You are lucky to have it. Me: *punt*
Conversations with a Toilet Cat
May 14th, 2007
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Me: Why are you wet? Cat: I’m not wet. Me: You’re leaving footprints on my desk. Cat: Oh, that wet. Me: Yeah. Why? Cat: It was very serious. Me: What was? Cat: I had to splash in the toilet. Me: Why, exactly? Cat: It was very important. Me: I have a strict rule about toilet [...]
Conversations with another cat
May 12th, 2007
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Sometimes I also have conversations with Liam. This could also be titled “How I spend my days off”. Cat: *poke* Me: What? Cat: Love me. Me: Not right now, I’m busy. Cat: *poke* Me: WHAT? Cat: Loooove me. Me: Fine. Come sit on my lap. Asshole. Cat: *poke* Me: FOR THE LOVE OF PEANUT BUTTER, [...]
Conversations with a cat
May 10th, 2007
4 Comments
Sometimes, when Jenn isn’t home, or early in the morning before Jenn wakes up, Zev & I have little discussions. They go like this: Cat: I’m starving. Me: You weigh 22lbs. You could be unfed for two weeks, and STILL not starve. Plus, there’s still food in your dish. Cat: But once I finish eating [...]