Here’s the deal:

The first five (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
- What I create will be just for you.
- It’ll be done this year (2009).
- You have no clue what it’s going to be. It will be something made in the real world. It may or may not have something to do with glitter and glue. Who knows? Not you, that’s for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely eccentric and of no economic redeeming value. Profanity may be involved.
- [Editor: I added this one] Be someone I know, and be in North America. Sorry, but mailing packages outside North America is prohibitively expensive, and if I’m going to be making things for people, I’d rather it was someone I know, y’know?

And in return, all you need to do is post this text into a note/blog post/whatever of your own and make things for 5 others.

Voila! STUFF!

Too bad, because it was teeter-totter day. There are no bloody teeter-totters anywhere in Vancouver that I can tell, how the heck do we practice this outside of class? Hmm. Anybody seen a teeter-totter? Have they all been taken down for so-called “safety” reasons? C’mon, what’s a little cracked skull between friends? If you haven’t have the wind knocked out of you seventeen times before lunch, you’re just not trying hard enough.

In other news, was tagged on Facebook for a meme. And so, I meme.

Things you have done during your lifetime:
(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
(X) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
(X) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently coloured with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain-naked
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States (did drive across Canada, though)
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
(X) Been sky diving
(X) Gone snowmobiling or jet skiing
(X) Lived in more than one country
(X) Laid down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(X) Seen the Statue of Liberty
(X) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(X) Been to Disneyland or Disneyworld
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
(X) Been in a rain forest
(X) Seen whales in the ocean
(X) Been to Niagara Falls
(X) Ridden on an elephant or camel
( ) Swam with dolphins or pet a dolphin
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calve
( ) Been spinnaker flying
(X) Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing… snowboarding counts
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(X) Been to a National Football League game
(X) Thrown up after riding a roller coaster or other carnival ride
(X) Buried a pet
( ) been parasailing
( ) Lived through temperatures that are -30
( ) Been to Iceland
(X) Climbed a rock wall
(X) Been on TV
( ) Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
( ) been whitewater rafting
( ) played in a symphony
( ) Conducted a music ensemble
( ) Been to Amsterdam?
(X) walked for a cause
( )walked the underwater tunnels of Atlantis
( )been on a submarine
(X) Been in love
( ) Shopped at the Mall of America
(X) Been in more than two states of Australia or America in one day
( ) Helped an animal deliver its baby
( ) cut the umbilical cord of a baby
( ) Done a bungee jump?
(X) gone skinny dipping
(X) had a perfect day
( ) flown a plane
( ) spent the day at the pere le chaise cemetary.
( ) knocked unconscious via static electricity

Here’s how I’m feeling today. With the occasional commentary.

I’m a Asshole (Really didn’t need a song to tell me that.)
I’m A Boy
I’m Afraid of Americans
I’m An Adult Now
I’m Burning For You
I’m Deranged
I’m Eighteen
I’m Free
I’m Going Down
I’m Going Slightly Mad
I’m Gonna Crawl
I’m in Touch With Your World
I’m looking though you
I’m No Angel
I’m not in love
I’m Not Satisfied
I’m Not The One
I’m On Fire
I’m On My Way
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
I’m Only Sleeping
I’m So Sick Of You
I’m the only one
I’m Ugly And I Don’t Know Why (Hey! Am not.)
I’m With You
I’m Your Lady
I’m Your Man (I’m indecisive!)
I’ve Committed Murder
I am a Rock
I Am The Walrus
I am you
I Can’t
I Can’t Quit You Baby
I Can’t Watch This
I Can See For Miles
I Did It
I Didn’t Want To Need You
I Do
I do I do I do I do I do (Wonder if I could add a few more “I do’s”?)
I Don’t Know Why
I don’t like mondays
I Don’t Mind
I Don’t Want To Wait
I Don’t Want Your Love
I Dont Know Why (I wonder if this is supposed to go with the one before, or the one after. I’m curious as to whether or not I don’t know why I don’t want your love, or if I don’t know why I fall to pieces. Maybe both.)
I Fall To Pieces
I feel loved
I Feel You
I Have A Dream
I Hear You Calling
I Hear You Knocking (Calling, knocking… kind of stalkerish, eh?)
I Just Don’t Love You Anymore
I Like To Rock
I Lost On Jeopardy
I Love Life
I Love Rocky Road
I Love The Nightlife
I Love You
I Love You Always Forever
I Might Be Wrong
I Need a Hero
I Palindrome I (Ok, I’m not sure if this should count, but it is technically an “I” song…)
I Refuse
I remember Larry
I Saw
I Shot The Sheriff
I Spy
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
I Take You With Me
I Think I’m A Clone Now (That sounds like me)
I Think I’m Paranoid
I Try
I Wanna Be Sedated
I Want A New Duck (Ok, that’s just funny.)
I Want To Be A Cowboy
I Want To Be In Love (I want to be a cowboy in love? Hmm.)
I Want To Come Over
I Want To Tell You
I Want You
I want you now
I Want You So Bad
I Want You to Want Me (I really want stuff, apparently. Or, well, you. Who’s you?)
I Will Survive
I Won’t Back Down
I Would Die For You
I Would Do Anything For Love
I Wouldn’t Normally Do This Kind of Thing (And by this kind of thing, I mean this meme, but what the hey, hey?)

How are you?

Well, I am getting a little annoyed at being asked if I’ve kissed a boy or not. Yeah, I think I JUST MIGHT HAVE ONCE OR TWICE.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Rent. Just kidding, honey! Actually, that one is fun — I usually write “For sexual favors” or some such variation on the envelope. Evidently he didn’t notice this until I mentioned it. He’s cute. In reality? My cell phone, because Bell’s website sucks. Better than getting paper bills, but bleah. Learn user interface design. (Says the girl currently reading a book on user interface design.)

2. Do you miss being a child? Not particularly.

3. Chore you hate the most? Cleaning the bathroom. Nick’s not a fan of that one either, which is why it gets … well, the way it is now. Ugh.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? ALL my dinners with Nick are romantic. (*cough, sputter, spew* yeah, I’m disgusting.) If we’re talking out of the house, and not McDonalds… probably Milestones. Nick likes their spinach dip.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be? My taste in men pre 2000. Come to think of it, my taste in men post-2000 hasn’t been that great either. Perhaps my taste in men pre-2008.

6. Name of your first grade teacher? Mrs. Vivian Rygnestad. Also, my second grade teacher. Oddly enough, now the principal of the school I went to AFTER she was my teacher. For those playing at home: She taught me grade 1 & 2 at Cloverdale Elementary, which is now a “traditional” school (I think that means “we don’t allow talk of gays or art”) and is now the principal of Latimer Road, where I went for gr 6 & 7.

7. What would you like to be doing right now? Figuring out this customers problem. I’m mulling.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up? A paleontologist. I outgrew my love of dinosaurs around the age of 13 or so.

9. How many colleges did you attend? Er… lesse. Kwantlen, Camosun, Kwantlen again (different campus), Langara, Emily Carr… 4 or 5, depending on how you count.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? It says “Jesse and the Rippers” on it. That’s reason enough.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices? Nick drives the car FAR more than I do, and therefore is usually the one to put gas in it (I pay the insurance, this seems fair to me) so… they’re gas prices? Whatever.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Muahahah, Nick has to get up before me because he’s got a thing to do this morning, I don’t have to get up yet. YES!

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? Sometimes I think I’m a bad girlfriend. On the upside, sometimes I also think I’m a very good girlfriend.

14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Huh. I can’t think of anyone.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle? Three times. First one was when I was 17, single vehicle, hydroplaned off the I-5 through a fence, thereby scaring the living shit out of myself. Second, got rear ended just past an intersection (I stopped to let a bus pull out, he decided it was safer to hit me than to stop in the intersection… yeah), 100% his fault. Third, learned that driving thirty seconds after I’ve woken up is a bad plan, and very lightly t-boned someone who didn’t signal when they were turning in front of me. Not much damage, paid it out rather than take the hit to my insurance.

16. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer? Heck, I like volunteering now. I wouldn’t full time, but yes, definitely.

17. Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in. Sleep in ALL DAY.

18. Who is your favorite cartoon character? The Grinch.

19. Favorite thing to do with your spouse? Snuggle. Vomit vomit, barf barf, I know. Possibly also walking the dog.

20. Favorite lunch meat? Roast Beast. Er, Beef.

21. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? A headache, and a suspicious feeling that my grandmother is scolding me.

22. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Huh. I don’t really know what to say about that. Depends on your definition of marriage.

23. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about? XXX. what? Vin Diesel!

24. What’s your favorite drink? diet coke.

25. Who from high school would you like to run in to? Well, Tina, although I doubt that’d be running into. If you mean someone I haven’t seen SINCE high school… nobody, really. I kept in touch with the people I really wanted to keep in touch with.

26. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? The space in my car where you would usually find a radio holds only some random wires and my iPod.

27. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives? If I HAD to choose, Desperate Housewives, but I’ve seen approximately the same of both: 10 minutes of an episode here or there.

28. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back, past or present? Agreeing to marry Tyler. Conveniently, I DID take it back, but I think I’d have skipped the two years of engagement, too.

29. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work? Directly across from me is … a wall. I love him! (That said, I like all of my coworkers. Hello, coworkers! Don’t pee in my coffee.)

30. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes? Intended purpose? No. (Unintended purpose? Well, still no. Damn.)

31. Do you have a teddy bear? Yes, although I left it at my parents place when I moved in with Nick. Now I just use a pillow. Kind of miss the bear.

32. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? Probably in a creek somewhere, but that doesn’t seem very strange if you camp.

33. Do you go to church? God no.

34. How old are you? 29

35. What is your favorite summertime activity? Hikes with the dog.

A – Age: 29

B – Bed size: King. Needs to be to fit sprawling dog, sprawling boyfriend, and blanket-stealing me curled up on the very edge. Tried sleeping in a double once with this particular combination. Dog got relegated to floor.

C – Chore you hate: Doesn’t this imply that there’s a chore I like?

D – Dog’s name: Justice

E – Essential start your day item: shower.

F – Favorite color: something bright.

G – Gold or Silver: something bright.

H – Height: 5’3″

I – Instruments you play(ed): flute (hahaha, yeah, no, sometimes I hummed instead of played) and piano. I’m trying to get back into piano.

J – Job title: Support Team Manager. The “team” part is a misnomer, since currently it’s only me.

K – Kids: Does my dog count? I think my dog should count.

L – Living arrangements: gorgeous loft with most awesome boy in universe.

M – Mom’s name: Pat

N – Nicknames: I don’t really have any. I use “donnamatrix” a lot, though.

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I had to stay for a few days when I was 8 (I have no idea why), and I hung out in the ER overnight once a few years ago because it took them that long to get to me…

P – Pet Peeve: People who don’t turn their lights on at night. Seriously, TURN ON YOUR GODDAMN LIGHTS.

Q – Quote from a movie: “Have fun storming the castle!” “Think it’ll work?” “It would take a miracle.”

R – Right or left handed: Very right.

S – Siblings: Carol Ann & Alex

T – Time you wake up: 7:30. Time I GET up? 8-8:10ish…

U- Underwear: Present.

V – Vegetable you dislike: Turnips.

W – Ways you run late: Um. Are there any ways I don’t run late?

X – X-rays you’ve had: Other than dental x-rays, I’m not sure I’ve ever had one.

Y – Yummy food you make: Cheesecake. I make excellent cheesecake.

Z – Zoo favorite: I’m really, really anti-zoo. Put them back where they belong. Out of zoo-favorite: Giraffes.

Your Firsts

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
We don’t really have “proms” in Canada. But I was dateless at my graduation party (along with all my closest friends), which is the rough equivalent.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Depends on what you consider love. Actually, not really — there are a few candidates, and I’m still in infrequent contact with all of them.

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Something frothy that was made for Christmas when I was 13 or 14, and given to me to see how it tasted. Later that night, I installed a new (handheld!) scanner, drunk off my tree.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Title on my business card? “Internet Support Services”. Actual job? “Gopher” or “Hey, do this.” Was an interesting little real estate based web design company in ’96. (Hi Jeff!)

5. What was your FIRST car?
Bright blue ’93 Plymouth Sundance.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Nick, a few hours ago.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Nick. Hard not to, he’s also the first thing I see when I open my eyes. Or at least, the blanket-covered lump that I refer to as Nick in the morning is.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Rygnestad. She was pretty awesome. She was also my second grade teacher. She called me Little Mary Sunshine. Googling indicates that, oddly enough, she is now the principal of the school I went to in grades 6 & 7. Go figure.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I can’t be sure, but I think it was from Ft. St. John to Vancouver. Or maybe the other way. I seem to recall a tale of flying with my cousin Linda when I was 8 or 9 months old or so. First one I can remember would probably be Hawaii when I was 4… or maybe Toronto when I was 4. I’m not sure which came first. What? I was 4.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and do you still talk?
Danielle Daigle. Hadn’t heard from her in years, but we reconnected via Facebook recently. She has a large brood of children now. Craaazy.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Heh, probably at Danielle’s place. Or possibly Chrissy Blakely’s.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Justice. Oh. Person? Nick.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
Does my mother’s count? I was technically right up there with the bride, what with her being all pregnant with me and such… other than that, I was the flower girl at my aunt Donna’s wedding when I was 5.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Hit “snooze”, told the dog to shut up, and went back to sleep for 11 minutes.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Lollapalooza ’94.

16. What was the FIRST record/tape?
Tape? No idea. CD? New Kids on the Block. Hah.

17. FIRST hospitalization?
I can’t remember what was wrong with me (I seem to think I had a nasty bladder or kidney infection or something) but I was 8. It was also my last hospitalization, save for the night I spent in the ER, which I’m not counting.

18. FIRST foreign country you’ve been to?
I’m pretty sure almost every CDN will answer this the same way: the US.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
Honestly, no idea.

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Grade 6, after playing Bloody Mary in the girls bathroom. Oops.

21. Where did you FIRST meet your spouse/partner now?
October ’07, at his (now our) apartment. Although we had been to god knows how many of the same events prior to that, and I seem to think that I talked to him briefly at a couple of them, but it’s also possible that it was some other bald guy… there are a few of them around.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Rebekah, in Oregon.

23. What did you do with your FIRST paycheck?
Damned if I know. Hookers & blow? Candy? I got a car not too long afterward, so they started going toward gas money.

1980. Ordinary People, Coal Miner’s Daughter, The Elephant Man, Raging Bull, Tess

1981. Chariots of Fire, Reds, Atlantic City, On Golden Pond, Raiders of the Lost Ark

1982. Gandhi, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Missing, Tootsie, The Verdict

1983. Terms of Endearment, The Big Chill, The Dresser, The Right Stuff, Tender Mercies

1984. Amadeus, The Killing Fields, A Passage to India, Places in the Heart, A Soldier’s Story

1985. Out of Africa, The Color Purple, Kiss of the Spider Woman, Prizzi’s Honor, Witness

1986. Platoon, Children of a Lesser God, Hannah and Her Sisters, The Mission, A Room with a View

1987. The Last Emperor, Broadcast News, Fatal Attraction, Hope and Glory, Moonstruck

1988. Rain Man, The Accidental Tourist, Dangerous Liaisons, Mississippi Burning, Working Girl

1989. Driving Miss Daisy, Born on the Fourth of July, Dead Poets Society, Field of Dreams, My Left Foot

1990. Dances with Wolves, Awakenings, Ghost, The Godfather Part III

1991. The Silence of the Lambs, Beauty and the Beast, Bugsy, JFK, The Prince of Tides

1992. Unforgiven, The Crying Game, A Few Good Men, Howards End, Scent of a Woman

1993. Schindler’s List, The Fugitive, In the Name of the Father, The Piano, The Remains of the Day

1994. Forrest Gump, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pulp Fiction, Quiz Show, The Shawshank Redemption

1995. Braveheart, Apollo 13, Babe, Il Postino (The Postman), Sense and Sensibility

1996. The English Patient, Fargo, Jerry Maguire, Secrets & Lies, Shine

1997. Titanic, As Good as It Gets, The Full Monty, Good Will Hunting, L.A. Confidential

1998. Shakespeare in Love, Elizabeth, Life Is Beautiful (La vita è bella), Saving Private Ryan, The Thin Red Line

1999. American Beauty, The Cider House Rules, The Green Mile, The Insider, The Sixth Sense

2000. Gladiator, Chocolat, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Erin Brockovich, Traffic

2001. A Beautiful Mind, Gosford Park, In the Bedroom, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Moulin Rouge

2002. Chicago, Gangs of New York, The Hours, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Pianist

2003. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Lost in Translation, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, Mystic River, Seabiscuit

2004. Million Dollar Baby, The Aviator, Finding Neverland, Ray, Sideways

2005. Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Munich

2006. The Departed, Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen

2007. No Country for Old Men, Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, There Will Be Blood

2008. Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader

I’m amused, and not terribly surprised. For one, I was born in ’79, so this is basically a rundown of “movies nominated for oscars since I was born” and sure enough, didn’t see a lot of them when I was still an infant. More amusing is the volume of movies I saw in ’99-’00, as those were my Victoria years, when Tina & I would go see a movie every Tuesday night, no matter how shitty. We saw “Teaching Mrs. Tingle” for fucks sake. Now I’m back to not watching a lot of movies, unless Nick convinces me to come along… but his preference tends to be for action flicks that are unlikely to show up on the Oscar nomination list.

And yes, I know I’m writing a lot of memes lately. I am unoriginal. Suck it.

# Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
I think this is livejournal or facebook-aimed, as … uh, this is a blog. What friends list? But, is there anyone on my lj friends list or facebook friends list I would consider having sex with? Of course! Like, say, my boyfriend… if we’re being politically correct. Some seriously hot friends of mine as well, if we’re not. (We’re not, right?)

# Sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Middle of the night. Preferably while I’m mostly asleep and don’t really know what’s going on — you can get some serious mindfucks from that. Otherwise, any time.

# What side of the bed do you sleep on?
This sounds familiar…

# Do you masturbate?
hahahaha. hahah. haha! um. Yes.

# How often?
A lot. Daily, at least. I often use it as a sleeping aid.

# Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Yep. Also for boots! I like boots.

# Do you prefer showers or baths?
Baths, but as they’re generally impractical, I don’t have nearly enough of them.

# Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yes, albeit slightly awkwardly. It’s rarely my favorite place, but can be seriously fun in the right circumstance.

# Do you watch/read pornography?
Frequently. Less now that my laptop is dead, though. Hmm. Should fix that. Need porn in bed.

# Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive. Or at the very least, assertive. If you just lie there, I don’t know what to do with you.

# Do you love someone on your friends list?
Well, Nick’s on my facebook friends list, so … yes?

# Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Pretty much. I’m not one for adding strangers. Of course, “know” is probably a loaded word, as I’ve never met many of them in person… but have known most of those ones for well over ten years.

# Would you choose love or money?
Uh… this is a dumb question. Have you SEEN my income? Obviously I chose love.

Although… can I choose “both”? Could use a clean credit card slate and a bucket of money.

# Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
I think I’m going to play the “not revealing too many personal details about my relationship” card. I don’t think Nick would appreciate me sharing quite that level of detail about our sex life. Also, my mother reads this site, and I think knowing that I engage in a fair amount of dirty, dirty sexual practices on a regular basis is QUITE ENOUGH DETAIL FOR HER. (Hi Mom!)

# Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Yeah. People are jerks. I don’t really put up with that any more.

# Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Romantic? I dunno, I don’t tend to go for romantic sex.

# Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Server room floor of a no-longer-existent Vancouver ISP. It was cold and I got rugburns on my back.

# Have you ever been caught having sex?
Yes. I hate that. It’s why I’m generally not a fan of sex-in-public unless said public place has been designated as sex-friendly.

# Have you ever been to a strip club?.
Oh, 1 or 2… hundred times.

# Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No. One night stands don’t do it for me. Neither do most bar-folk.

# Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
See above.

# Ever been picked up in a bar?
I picked someone up at Sin City once. Does that count?

# Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Oh, 1 or 2… hundred times.

# What’s your sexuality?
Present.

# Had sex in a movie theater?
Hmm. Gave someone a blowjob in a theatre when I was 16. Does that count? I felt very Alanis-like.

# Had sex in a bathroom?
Does my bathroom count?

# Have you ever had sex at work?
My current place of work? God no. Former places of work? See aforementioned “Server room of a Vancouver ISP” question.

# Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
Been in? Hell, I used to live in one…

# Bought something from an adult store?
See above.

# Do you own any sex toys?
“Any”? bahahah

# If yes, how many and what are they?
Uncountable. My feeldoe is my favorite, though. What? I have penis envy, and that’s a SURPRISE? Ooh, and of course, my hitachi magic wand. It’s MAGIC!

# Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Plenty.

# Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Er, yes. Although it wasn’t a case of “fantasizing about someone else” but a serious neuron-misfire… also, he didn’t hear me. Phew.

# Have you ever had phonesex?
Yup. Not my favorite thing, but can be fun.

# Have you ever had cybersex?
See above.

# Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
“intercourse”? Uh, no. Sex? Yes.

# What’s your favorite sexual position?
Depends on the partner, actually. I’d normally say doggy style, but there have been a number of people for whom that position ended up being bloody uncomfortable.

# What’s your favorite sex act?
Well, let’s just say I have an oral fixation… and a lucky boyfriend.

# Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Wait… you can do it with only one person at a time? Kidding. I have, although it’s not my preference, as I tend to find it a bit awkward and difficult to coordinate without someone getting left out — I get bored easily. Also, I’m a total voyeur — I’d rather watch.

# Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Well, half the people I know already have, so…

1 Kissed anyone one of your facebook friends? Hah. Like, half? I like kissing.

2 Been arrested? Arrested? No. ridden in the back of a police car? … yes. Hee.

3 Kissed someone you didn’t like? Didn’t like at the time, or don’t like now? Actually, I think the answer to both is yes. I’ve been awfully drunk a few times. Generally, I try to only kiss people who don’t repulse me, though.

4 Slept in until 5 PM? Last time I was unemployed, regularly. I’m a night owl.

5 Fallen asleep at work/school? Erk. A couple of times. Never while I was supposed to be working, but I’ve napped at lunch a few times…

6 Held a snake? Many times — first when I was about 6. My very first paid babysitting (snakesitting?) job. Lisa’s boa constrictor once tried to strangle me, too. I survived.

7 Ran a red light? Totally by accident once when I was 18. Doy.

8 Been suspended from school? Never. I’m a good girl!

9 Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident? Well, I didn’t total my car… but Tina totaled MY car. Does that count?

10 Sang karaoke? Yes. It’s not a good thing.

11 Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? I lack a certain amount of impulse control. Hee.

12 Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Ow. Yes.

13 Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Snowflakes are tasty!

14 Kissed in the rain? It’s Vancouver. How do you avoid kissing in the rain?

15 Sang in the shower? Feel sympathy for people who live with me: Yes.

16 Sat on a rooftop? Used to hang out on the roof of my old apartment until the landlord got pissy at us. Hmph. We do NOT look like white trash! It was fun!

17 Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? Not that I’m aware of, but then again, I’ve been awfully drunk…

18 Broken a bone? I think I broke a toe once, but I didn’t bother going to the hospital, so I don’t know for sure.

19 Shaved your head? Yep.

20 Blacked out from drinking? Gah. Yeah. Not so good.

21 Played a prank on someone? Whenever I can think of a good one.

22 Felt like killing someone? Potentially.

23 Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? The current one? I don’t think so. Past ones? Yeah, enough.

24 Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? Er. No. Eck.

25 Been in a band? Have musical talent of headless chicken.

26 Shot a gun? Paintball, yes. Real, no. Would like to, though. Would like to take lessons, perhaps get license.

27 Tripped on mushrooms? They’re not my favorite, but yes.

28 Donated Blood? Due to my love of hot man-on-man action, they don’t want my blood anymore. Jerks.

29 Eaten alligator meat? No, but I did have crocodile meat. It tastes like rather fishy chicken. Quite good.

30 Eaten cheesecake? Heck, it’s about the only thing I know how to make…

31 Still love someone you shouldn’t? Going by the “spirit” of the question, nope! Finally got over that a few years ago. Woo! Although technically, I don’t really believe that I ever completely stop loving someone… it just changes. So, there are a few people I’ll always love in some small way, but am not “in love” with anyone I shouldn’t be.

32 Think about the future? I should hope so.

33 Believe in love? I should hope so.

34 Sleep on a certain side of the bed? The right. Or the middle. Or sprawled out across Nick. Whatever. The left is his, though… unless he’s gotten out of bed before me, in which case I tend to migrate across. The dog sleeps on his side, and I like to cuddle with her.

THERE! A meme.

Er, anyway, so apparently I’ve been tagged by the illustrious Kimli to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. Theoretically, I’m then supposed to choose 25 people to be tagged, but I don’t do that sort of thing, so instead you merely get 25 things.

This could be difficult. Or boring. Or both!

- When I order a burger at McDonalds, I always get extra pickles. I am visibly distressed if my pickles do not arrive.

- I like the smell of faux watermelon.

- I am extremly good at self delusion.

- I absolutely hate talking on the phone. Therefore, I almost never answer my phone. Caller ID is a must — and yes, I screen calls. Of course, half the time I don’t know where my phone is anyway, so screening isn’t necessary. Send me an email, I’ll respond on my own time.

- I really want to get back into Rock Climbing again.

- It’s not that I don’t trust people when they correct me on something I was sure I was right on… it’s just that I’m cynical and prefer third party verification, even if I acknowledge that they’re most likely right pre-verification.

- My typing speed is slowing down. I used to be able to type 110wpm. I don’t know what it is now, but it’s definitely not that fast. As this is really the first “sign of aging” that I care about, this sort of bugs me.

- I dislike admitting that I’m wrong. Therefore, I rarely make “all or nothing” statements (or at least, they’re not intended to be all or nothing statements) and usually add in a “this opinion may change” disclaimer.

- Despite the above, I am extremely opinionated, especially about things I’m passionate about.

- I like getting older.

- My favorite part of the human body is those little dimples you get in your back, just above your ass.

- I am incredibly nosy, but try really hard not to be.

- I find it difficult to get motivated at times. I really wish this wasn’t true.

- My favorite part of my dogs body is the top of her snout.

- Years of chewing on my left pinky finger have left it a bit mangled, and I doubt the nail will ever grow in correctly. I hate this, and usually try to hide it.

- I still chew on it.

- Sneezing tends to give me a roaring headache.

- I’m neurotic about my laundry. This goes back to when my ex-fiance ruined an absolutley gorgeous worn-once $150 cashmere sweater by washing it. It felted. I wasn’t happy.

- I’ve been using the same (logitech split wireless) keyboard for about 8 years — I bought it off somebody on IRC. I fear the day it quits working. I’ve seen the current version of the same keyboard and I’m not overly impressed.

- Aforementioned 8 yr old keyboard is COMPLETELY FILTHY. I clean it superficially every now and then, but I’m afraid to take it apart. I FEAR THE DAY IT QUITS WORKING.

- I may be rethinking my position on marriage a bit. Some of the aspects that never made much sense to me are a little clearer now.

- One of my favorite things about Warcraft is when someone tells me I’m doing a good job. I am apparently a sucker for compliments. I can’t tell if playing a healer helps this, or totally screws me for this. (People tend to be a little unappreciative of their healers.)

- I really, really miss my bookshelf. Well, more specifically, the books on it. It’s probably the biggest — hell, the ONLY downside to living here. (I have way, way too many books, and there simply isn’t room.)

- My hair is currently the longest it’s been in about … what, six years? However long it’s been since I shaved my head. It’s shoulder length. Give me another 6 months, and it’ll probably be longer than it was when I shaved my head.

- Coming up with 25 things? Harder than it sounds. Which is why the 25th is this lame-ass cop out for an answer. Suck it, princess.