So I kept a few notes of my trip on my phone. I figured I’d just share them there because they amuse me.
Some of it doesn’t make sense. Well. It was funny at the time?
No matter how far away you are from home, dogs want to hang their heads out the window.
It’s not just that the cars are old, it’s that many of them are in pristine 1950s condition.
“I don’t want to walk up an entire flight of stairs… I’m on vacation!”
“I don’t know about you but I plan on being drunk pretty much 24/7.”
“There is sand in my iPhone.”
“What is that sound?”
“It’s a bird.”
“Really? Birds are weird…”
“Rocks don’t have legs. All rocks with legs are frogs.”
“If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal here.”
“This is a lot like being in Montreal, except I don’t have to pay for things.”
I AM IN CUBA WATCHING AN ELVIS IMPERSONATOR! Life is now complete. (So THAT’S where he went…)
“Hee. Toilet humor.”
“It’s urinal humor. Urinal humor is different.”
“Whatever you do in Cuba stays in Cuba…”
They’re doing body shots on stage. This is awesome.
“I cried so hard when I saw Titanic the first time.”
“I cried the second time.”
I just saw assless chaps. Life is good.
Snorkeled in open water, far enough from land that I couldn’t see it. Stunning, despite my crapass vision. Crazy strong tide, too. I kept sticking my head down, looking around for a few minutes, then popping up and having to swim like hell to get back to the boat. Then do it again!
“I’m on a catamaran in Cuba listening to the Macarena. That’s it, I’ve finished my bucket list.”
Yay, geography lesson! “The easternmost province is Guantanamo. It has a bay, Guantanamo Bay. When you leave Cuba, you pay $25 CUC. If you don’t have that, you get a free trip to Guantanamo Bay…”
Most all-inclusives built in 90s, post-economic collapse of sugar industry. Half of the people working there are professionals who make more in the tourist industry.
Was accosted by a Cuban panhandler. Felt right at home!
Very Sunburned Dan: “Fucking beach. So next trip, we’re going to London, we’re not going to see the sun for two weeks.”
Thunderstorms! Yay! Went for a swim. Felt sort of safe based on multiple lightning rods around the resort.
Some of the rumbles continue on for minutes at a time.
It’s so windy that our neighbours pants blew onto our balcony, but it’s still warm and sunny out.
Very brief power outage. Keeping my flashlight handy.
“There’s something in the air. Oh right, it’s ionized gases.”
Dinner reservations, but we needed the ticket from the room. No sense in us both getting wet in the rain, although our room is only one building over from the main lobby. By the time Dan got back, he was as drenched as if he’d come via the pool.
Ate so much food (despite the beetle that hitched a ride in my vegetables) that I may give birth.
Am so full my tummy is doing unhappy somersaults, and yet I have a plateful of dessert in front of me…
-high pitched birdcall- “Oooh, there’s dolphins in the trees!”
Went on a nature walk, had a tarantula hole pointed out to us. Am now MOST PARANOID EVER. OH GOD TARANTULAS ARE EVERYWHERE. Theres probably one in my bag right now. Waiting…
“I want to go outside. It’s too hot in here.” -30 seconds later- “Oh god, it’s hotter out here…”
Using hockey sticks to adjust the spotlights: is there ANYTHING they can’t do?
Aquaballet dirty dancing. Utterly Amazing. Seriously, they re-enacted the big dance scene from Dirty Dancing WITH AQUABALLET.
I feel incredibly touristy for walking around with my big SLR camera. But then I realize it’s already obvious that I’m a tourist by my blindingly white skin. The camera makes no difference.
One of the reasons I wanted to stay in an all inclusive is that I was a little nervous about getting around a country in which I speak about 4 words of the local language. But I feel incredibly comfortable in Havana. It’s a city, and that makes me feel at home. Sure, it’s about 400 years older than Vancouver, but it’s still a city. I got this.
No regrets for the all inclusive, though. That beach, that pool, and unlimited free drinks? I’m in.
New Havana: still older than anything Vancouver has to offer.
Bathroom/pina colada break on the way back to the hotel: Gave the attendant a tip, she ushered me into the “special” bathroom. No toilet seat, and the sink didn’t work, but I didn’t have to wait!
“Don’t worry honey. Soon we’ll be home where all the girls are wearing long pants and turtlenecks.”
Timers at controlled intersections count down how long until it turns yellow. Brilliant.
“How did she know we were Canadian? Oh right, 90% chance.”