So I’ve been experimenting a lot more with this whole “being a girl” thing, but the inherent laziness and enjoying sleep means that I look for shortcuts.

My entire morning routine (which, when I work nights, is a “mid-afternoon routine”, but who’s counting?) takes an hour. I refuse to let it take longer than that, unless I spend half an hour dicking around on Twitter. Admittedly, this does including dicking around on twitter for ten minutes or so. But it also includes taking the dog out for her morning pee, and 5 minutes of arguing with the cat. (What? She’s mouthy.)

Getting this routine down has taken some practice — I used to be a 15-minutes-including-shower kind of girl, but that was considerably was easier when I had a shaved head. I now have longish hair and bangs, so my old method of “run a comb through it and leave it alone” now makes my hair turn into a limp frizzy mess. The bangs look like utter crap unless I blowdry them.

So here’s my quick & dirty method for not spending ages blowdrying my hair. It may only work for people with my hair, as it’s quite fine. I put whatever hair goo in my hair that I’m using these days, then blowdry the bangs & my roots taking no more than 3 or 4 minutes. Then I get dressed, take the dog out, have a Discussion with the cat, and by the time I come back the rest of it has usually mostly dried — enough so that I can give it a quick 30 seconds just to grab the last few damp strands, slap some anti-frizz smoothing stuff on it, and voila! Hair that is almost totally dry (and straight!) with virtually no effort and doesn’t look like I stuck my finger in a light socket.

I wish I’d known this trick in high school. I might not have looked like this when I was 15. Or this… good lord.

Other time saving tips include: have an awesome boyfriend who makes you breakfast almost every time you have a morning shift. Also, have a dog who pees the second she hits the grass when you get outside and won’t destroy the house if she hasn’t had a long walk in the morning. Just sayin’. You could probably save more time if you didn’t have a cat who’s sole goal in life is to cover you in gray fuzz every morning, but I can’t quite figure that one out yet.

So. What are YOUR “save time without sacrificing final look” tips?

In other news: I spent $140 on makeup today. Seriously, does anybody remember me 6 years ago? Hee. I actually only spent $40, as I had an awesome gift card from Christmas that I hadn’t used yet. In my continued attempts to be Pretty (note: makeup not actually required, I just like to accentuate and decorate. And doodle all over my face.) I bought my very first bronzer. Next step: Figure out how to wear it without looking like Snooki. Important step.

I also discovered that MAC has these nifty customizable eye shadow kits where you can pick the colors you want, and voila: custom palette. Sure, I could just buy two separate pots, but I like having matched colors that I know go well together (because someone helped me pick them. What? I’m not good at this stuff. Yet.) What it comes down to is that I really like sets, and they didn’t have any with the colors I was looking for, so I made my own. Yay, set!

Who knew that this stuff was so much fun?

I still refuse to wear mascara under most circumstances. Like, if I’m wearing my glasses. Who wants eyelashes that bump against your glasses? Fuck that shit.

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