So… my mom has cancer. I mentioned this. And it’s effing scary, but you know, we find ways to cope. Often with black humor. It’s hard to make jokes about cancer because people look at you like you’ve suggested the Jews had it coming. How can you say that about your MOTHER? Well, in my defense, I come by my sense of humor honestly: She started it.
Anyway. So if anything I say comes off as flippant or horrible, it’s because that’s what we do when we’re scared and uncomfortable.
So, Mom’s going through chemo right now, and that’s yet another thing that totally blows. It’s reportedly like the worlds worst hangover, without the fun of getting drunk first. Luckily, thanks to advances in research (donate today to help out!) there are much better anti-nauseants so at least it’s not weeks of worshipping the porcelain goddess. One other side effect of chemo is the severely compromised immune system.
I’ve ranted about immuno-compromised people before, in the VACCINATE YOUR DAMN KIDS rant. Or my second favorite, DON’T GO OUT IF YOU’RE SICK. Vaccinations aren’t just for you, they’re for the people who CAN’T be vaccinated because their immune systems are trashed. Infants, the elderly, and chemo patients are right up on that list. And if you work with or associate with any demographic known for being immunocompromised, get a damn flu shot too. I’ll be getting one this fall. I’m not risking it.
Anyway, my point is: If you have a cold, you are not welcome at my parents house. You’re not really welcome at mine either, because I don’t want to get sick either. I would like to visit my parents as much as humanly possible. Keep your germs to yourself, please.
So the handwashing and other such preventative measures are in full force in the house of McFayden. Of course, there’s one other factor to take into consideration: Carol Ann is eight years old, and everybody knows that eight year olds and those germ factories they go to every day are, well, germ factories. It’s summer vacation right now, but still — eight year olds associate with other eight year olds, and all eight year olds are germ factories even if they’re NOT holing up in big brick germ factory containment fields for 6 hours a day.
They’ve had to get pretty strict with her. Wash your hands. No drinking out of Mom’s glass. No putting your grubby hands in Mom’s food. And worst of all, no hugging.
I like hugging. I’m a fan. Admittedly, Mom’s also had major surgery recently that makes this hugging thing a little less comfortable, but still. My mom is sick and I’m scared and I would really like to hug her and keep her safe from disease because MY HUGS HAVE THAT POWER, DAMNIT. Oh wait, no, it’s the opposite. I might not be eight, but I too am a (somewhat less effective) germ factory.
No hugs, no handshakes, no hacking up hairballs or sneezing most sneezily in Mom’s presence. Allergies? Take an antihistamine. If the sneezing stops, c’mon in. Otherwise, eff off. But we’ve come up with a solution:
Fist bumps.
Who doesn’t love fist bumps? They’re even better than a hug, cuz they make us look cool. Or something. Ok, we might be the least cool people in the world, but by golly we have immune-system-saving fist bumps, and that’s awesome.
And really, who could resist this?
Fist bumps all around!
I totally know what you mean about black humor. There were some great jokes when my Mom was sick.
…
Why are you all looking at me like that?
Because she’s just too cute:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/vancouvergeek/4745019118/
Can’t get on side with you regarding vaccinations (I know your point of view, but it’s wrong; that’s all), but HOLA for handwashing, facewashing and STAYING HOME WHEN YOU’RE SICK, DAMMIT!
Fist bumps are great; waving from across the room carries even less risk. When my sister was going through chemo the school that her kids went to sent out notices to all the parents asking for an extra level of caution when deciding whether or not to send a kid to school; perhaps Carol-Anne’s school would do the same?
Have we talked about vaccinations before? Curious as to what your opinion is on that. Cuz I have the sneaking suspicion that I’m not the wrong one here. :D
Two points where vaccinations are concerned:
1. As a parent, I’m obligated to do squat to my child for the society. In fact, most of my time is spent trying to protect my child from a society that doesn’t value her at all. It views her as nothing more that a target market to be exploited, a girl to be made insecure and sold things, a little blob that should come back when it’s old enough to vote/spend/screw and do what it’s told. In this world the job description of “parent” is the figure who balances society off by being cheerfully willing to let society crash and burn if sacrificing my child is what it would take to save it.
2. If the H1N1 debacle didn’t pull back the curtains for you regarding immunizations and the true motivations behind them, and how much both government and pharma are in lockstep in their willingness to lie and distort to get us to do what we want, you weren’t paying attention; if you’re going to have an opinion about immunizations, you should have been.
Society? Agreed. Your friends & neighbours? MY family, friends & neighbours? Along with my mother, I can think of 3 other close friends who are immunocompromised to an extent that YOUR kid getting sick could kill them. So, yes, you ARE obligated — in my books, anyway — to stop your child from spreading easily preventable diseases.
As for H1N1… wait a second. I *was* paying attention. You say you believe the conspiracy theorists? People *demanded* a vaccine. Now now now! We must have one or the government & big pharma are trying to kill us all! Then when they DID get one… omg, they rushed this! It isn’t safe! The government & big pharma are trying to kill us all!
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
1. You’re switching arguments midstream here, and you’re about to get wet. You can’t simultaneously argue that the the needs of the many outweigh the dangers to the few (i.e. the argument for vaccinations), and that the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many (I know of 3 immunocompromised people and so everyone else must do their bidding!!!). The benefits of some immunizations (flu shots being the easiest target) are laughable. The dangers are largely unknown. Lets see: negligible benefits, unknown dangers. Not much of a contest.
2. You weren’t paying attention. That’s a shame. The WHO whipped up a frenzy and the pharma companies paid them off for it, and we’re all left holding tens of millions of dollars worth of useless, unused meds.
Just damned if you do.
My problem with the “anti-vaccination” crowd has always been about the needs of few — those who can’t be vaccinated. Herd immunity only works if the whole herd is immunized, and yeah, I can absolutely be pissy at selfish people who use everyone ELSES kid to keep theirs safe. Seriously, *pertussis* is making a comeback. What the fuck? There’s no reason for that.
Honestly, flu shots, I’m a bit more wobbly on, and has a lot more to do with who you associate with. If you associate regularly with people for whom influenza is a problem? Get immunized for their sake. I don’t normally, but this year? Yeah, I will be.
H1N1: No, really, I *was* paying attention — and you still sound like a conspiracy theorist. Hard to take that argument even remotely seriously. Next you’ll be telling me you think they cause autism.
Quite frankly, I think people who are 100% anti-immunizations need to be thrown back a few hundred years into the middle of a smallpox outbreak and see how they feel about vaccinations after that.
That said: I wish they’d bring titre testing to humans the way they do for dogs. I don’t believe in over-vaccinating if it’s not required, hence why Justice gets titre testing every year, rather than a booster shot she doesn’t need. But she sure as hell had all of her puppy shots to give her the initial immunity.
Are the Wall Street Journal and The Economist conspiracy rags? They’re where I spend most of my reading time, and they’ve both done extensive work on how the WHO manipulated both the numbers and their own “pandemic” definition in order to raise their profile in the developed world. Pharma companies saw a chance to profit and went for it.
Politicians played along because nobody wanted to be the one who stood up and said “waitaminute, none of your numbers work, here” and then be confronted on the national news by the parents of someone who actually died from it. Know what? People die from the flu every year; immunized people, old people, young people. Every year. H1N1 was different in some ways, but it actually killed fewer people than the usual seasonal flu.
I can tell you, it was a scary time to be a parent; the pressure to have Tarn vaccinated was intense, but ever time Brenda and I sat down and researched the actual facts that were available, immunization made no logical sense. We’re rational people. We both know how to research. It was a transparent scam from the beginning, and the ONLY thing that made us doubt the facts that we could find was the sheer volume of easily researched and dismissed lies.
I understand the parents who eventually submitted, the same way that I understand why some people see bad things happening and think that “it’s best not to get involved.” What they mean is “it’s uncomfortable to get involved.” Noone said that parenting was supposed to be comfortable. It often isn’t.
Leaving H1N1 alone — do you/did you vaccinate for other common illnesses?
Why are we leaving H1N1 alone? You said it was fodder for conspiracy theorists, I asked if two reputable sources were conspiracy mongers, and now you want to move on? What’s up? Is this how you avoid getting involved?
Hey, don’t answer that: it was rude and inappropriate.
I moved on because it doesn’t matter, we’re not going to agree, I’ve already stated my opinion and you’re unlikely to change my mind anyway…
And I’m curious about your opinions on “standard” vaccinations more than yearly flu vaccines. :)
Tarn will likely be immunized for the first time this year in prepartion for going to school. It’s a tough one for us because immunizations have been wrapped up into single “speedball” packages that force you to either immunize your child for everything or nothing, and there are things in the “stock” package which make me profoundly uncomfortable. Nevertheless, we’ll likely be injectng Tarn with a mess of shit this year. Frankly, it makes me feel like a failed parent that I can’t offer her something better.
Tarn has never been, and will never be, immunized against the flu or any other such stupidity.