So I have this dog, and I feed my dog, and therefore the dog must poop. Everybody Poops, right?
We do our daily toddles out to the empty ex-garden across the road, although it’s started so full of trash that I may go back to the old “making burn spots in the grass in front of the building” routine with all the other dogs in the building. Justice isn’t much of a scavenger, but I don’t want to risk it. Also, I saw a shot glass in there the other day. Intact, but now I’m worrying about broken glass. Stupid ex-perfect torn up garden full of garbage.
Also, who throws away an intact shot glass?
Anyway, so this morning we did our (probably last) run across the road to poop in the lot. Justice did her thing, and I managed scooping duties. I’m out of my regular poo bags and for some reason, can’t seem to get anywhere near the pet store, so I’ve been using grocery bags. I’m not a huge fan of these. As silly as it seems to buy bags just for poo, I like the fact that they do NOT HAVE HOLES. Ever. They also come on a nice compact roll so I don’t have plastic spilling out of my pockets. They’re biodegradable, which makes me feel good about myself when I don’t think about how compact the trash in landfills in meaning there’s no chance in hell it will ever degrade. Also, I don’t actually HAVE a lot of regular plastic bags lying around — I don’t tend to buy a lot of stuff at a time, and I always carry at least one scrunchable bag on me. But most importantly, NO HOLES. Did I mention they don’t have holes in them?
Can you see where this is going?
Yeah, I totally got the poophand this morning. Worse, I stopped biting my nails a few months ago (although that’s a good thing, really — I don’t want that going ANYWHERE NEAR my mouth) and wound up with poo under my nails. My precious manicure! With the french tips! Has POO!
With great disgust, I waited for Justice to finish her bizness, then ran as fast as I could for the garbage can to dispose of the holey bag, then tried to get back inside as fast as possible — of course, someone else was coming out at the same time, so we had to give a fairly wide berth so as not to scare the dog with the Horror of Other People Existing Near Her Home. (Hooray, barking dog AND poophand!)
Eventually, we got inside and I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed. I jammed q-tips and the pointy bit of the nail trimmers under my nails. I scrubbed more. I then realized I was leaving POO REMNANTS on my precious soap, and then scrubbed the soap. (It’s self cleaning, right?) I may have done the “ew Ew EW!” dance. I might be doing it now. In my chair. At work.
I buy poo bags made out of cornstarch that are also biodegradable (and I also like that when I ignore the reality of landfills) but the best part of these bags is – they have handles to tie. SO MUCH BETTER than trying to tie a knot in the top of the bag. They are a bit more expensive but I figure that since they make the unfortunate but necessary task of picking up poo slightly less irritating, they are worth the cost.