life, the universe, and donna

I’m going to get mocked for this, but take it in the grain it’s intended: As something that makes me laugh pretty hysterically.

So I recently managed to get my hands on some of the infamous “World of Whorecraft” (now known as Whorelore). For the unaware, yes it’s exactly what it sounds like: Warcraft Porn.

I watched episode 2. The premise: Ogre attacks some guy. Girl (obviously a night elf, by her makeup and, well, fake ears) steps in, blasts the heck out of him with some truly spectacularly bad special effects, but in the process he rips her gown to shreds, revealing her chainmail bikini underneath. Of course. Why, I’m sure all of my characters wear chainmail bikinis, too. She runs into another girl who mentions she better get her gear repaired before the raid tonight.

So off she goes, to find someone who can do armor repair, and why look! It’s her old friend Smitty, who talks in the WORLDS WORST PIRATE ACCENT EVER. He tells her how much it’ll cost to repair her gown, she says she doesn’t have the gold… but would prefer to pay “her way”. “Aaargh, I better be getting my booty!” says Smitty. She replies, “Oh, you’ll get your booty.” And the cocksucking begins.

It’s surprisingly well done, for porn. Ok, so they can’t act. At all. The one liners are hilarious not only for the sheer awfulness of the lines, but for the absolute lack of talent in delivering said one liners. I did find an interview with Mia Rose, the elf in question, where she says flat out that she’s not an actress. She can’t act at all. Well, it’s true. Still, she’s cute, wears fake ears, and is, um, talented in other areas as well. Like… raiding. Yeah, raiding. With her mouth. (I think this is a euphemism…)

And I can’t help but be amused by her as well — she has a lvl 70 undead warlock. Or at least she did, until Blizzard banned her since the account wasn’t in her name (apparently, the director of Whorecraft had started the account, played 3 levels, then gave it to her — a big no-no according to Blizzard’s TOS.)

It’s pretty hysterical. I’m looking forward to watching the next few episodes.

Also: Best pornstar name ever: Justin Syder. I admit it, I laughed.