Conversations with a Destructive Cat

Me: Fine, you may sit in my lap, if you’ll only stop annoying me.
Cat: Good. This is where I belong.
Me: Just sit there and be quiet and don’t bug me.
Cat: *kneads claws into sweater*
Me: You’ve … you’ve just ruined my sweater.
Cat: I didn’t like it anyway.
Me: *punt*

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