The scene: Lying on my bed, reading a book, minding my own business… when all of a sudden, there’s a cat on my chest, nosing my book out of the way, demanding my attention.
Cat: Pet me.
Me: I was reading that.
Cat: Pet me now.
Me: I was in the middle of a sentence.
Cat: This is more important. Pet me.
Me: Fine. As usual, I will rearrange my life to cater to your whims. Jerk.
Cat: Excellent work. Continue petting me.
…time passes…
Cat: *bite*
Me: Ow! Hey, what the hell?
Cat: I was done being petted.
Where’s the “punt”? You can’t put up with that sort of treatment. Bite == all bets are off.
Well, what I *really* wanted to do was bite back…
but then I wind up with a mouthful of fur.
bite the ears. less fur.
Hmmm – your conversations with a cat (and rat) are really humorous, and all too familiar to those of us with similarly painful felines.
Last night, the one cat that tends to run at the sight of me decided that he needed to lie in the middle of the bed (on top of the blankets) between myself and my spouse, and just where my hand would fall in case it was inclined to pet him. Consequently, I started having my own conversation that began along the lines of “What the hell do you think you’re doing there….?” Surprisingly, he didn’t move along.
Of course his presence then seemed to attract another of the furry beasts who decided that she need to wedge herself (on top of the blankets) between my legs.
Of course, have you ever noticed that cats also seem to be attracted to the bed the moment one is trying to be intimate with another human? Seems to be that reaction of “Nobody should have more love than I,” combined with “Why are you disturbing this large surface when I have the need to sprawl.”
Haven’t had the luck of that one yet. When I’m being intimate with another human, the cats are nowhere near me. The door is CLOSED. :D
Door is usually closed – but with 3 cats, inevitably there seems to be at least one hiding under the bed who decides to come out of hiding about 30 seconds after one doesn’t want to get up to boot it out the door.