life, the universe, and donna

So we’re partway into the Conference of Kink (no link, if you bastards haven’t shown up yet, well, sucks to be you). Last night was the amazingly funny “Iron Top”. Elwood, Vancouver’s foremost body mod expert, and Peggy O, all the way in from Florida after impressing the pants off of Yvonne at another conference, squared off in a top-off the likes haven’t been seen in these parts for nigh on … oh, you get the idea.

The secret ingredient was… “heat”. About 40 minutes before it started, I was sent off to supervalu to pick up some more heat. I came back with jalepenos (they’re phallic — you do the math), pickled habeneros (did you know that these can cause 2nd degree chemical burns?), cayenne pepper, and a bottle of Frank’s Hot Sauce to top things off. Along with the tabasco sauce already in place, we had… well, a hot night ahead of us.

By the end of it, Brody (Elwood’s vic..er, bottom) was quivering, and just as the winner was being announced, had to make a run for the bathroom as the mess of tabasco, cayenne, habenero & franks on his abraised chest had just slithered down, down, down, hey look, testicles! Apparently that hurts. A lot. Hee. Louise, on Peggy O’s side, probably won’t be walking much in the future, as she had sliced peppers jammed between her toes. Ooh, nice. Both were complaining of the burning in their ass — apparently sticking a jalepeno in ones ass and hitting it repeatedly hurts. Who knew? To those of you who I will ever play with in the future? Blame them. I got MANY good ideas tonight. Muahaha.

For some reason, I had “Ring of Fire” stuck in my head, and kept singing it under my breath during cleanup.

On the downside, I’m now scared shitless. Before this event, I had volunteered to be a stunt bottom in a couple of the workshops. One is Erotic Photography. Well, that’s easy. Get naked and pose? Ok. The other is “Sensations”. With Elwood.

Oh fuck.

We were chatting briefly, while I tried to keep the scared bunny look out of my eyes (they can SMELL FEAR!). I believe the most important thing I said was “Hard limit: Jalepenos”. He tried to sneak home with the Frank’s, but I took it away.

“Have you ever had a blowtorch put out on your skin?”

I’m so fucked.

It’s gonna be a blast.

Edit: Yvonne was kind enough to post this picture, of Elwood just after he’s told what the secret ingredient is. You can see the cruel ideas going through his mind… and poor Brody wondering what he’s gotten himself into THIS time.